“Online dating just isn’t for me.”
We’ve all heard it. Maybe even said it. But now all us singles, who always swore we’d never attempt online dating, are somewhat out of luck. How else are you supposed to date these days?
Hello, friend meet, Tinder!
Tinder! The app is back and hotter than ever. It’s the new normal, which includes lockdowns and social distancing, that has made it more difficult than ever to meet and date new people. Thank God for the Internet! Now more than ever, people need their smartphones to foster human connections. Online dating isn’t exactly a choice anymore; it’s a necessity.
And so you download Tinder…
You’re eager and ready to meet someone. You begin swiping and swiping, then MATCH! She’s hot and you match, which means she thinks you’re hot too. Okay, now what?
The nerves set in. Here you are, a complete stranger, staring at a picture of a beautiful girl and you’re thinking, what do I say? What is a good conversation starter? How do I not mess this up?
You have to be clever. You want to be funny. You need to be personable. You type out a series of responses, deleting each and trying again.
Should I just say “hey”? You begin to type…STOP!
Don’t say hey.
Don’t say hey.
And please, don’t say hey!
Keep it short, sweet, flirty is fine, just don’t say “hey”. Why? She’s going to read that and think you’ve sent the same three letters to 60 other girls. To be fair, you probably did. What that girl wants is to feel special, as if she’s not just some random girl who you swiped right on (Even though that is exactly what happened).
A text that reads “hey” is one that she’s most likely not going to respond to.
You’re at an impasse. What do you do?
Think about it. There was a time, in the not so distant past, where you would talk to strangers and engage in conversations. What did you say? It wasn’t so long ago and yet, your memory is hazy…
Well, first and foremost, NOTHING sexual.
That’s CRAZY, you think. After all, we’re on Tinder, an app that’s notorious for hooking up. Your fingers dance over the keyboard.
You are the man!
This is genius, you think. You read your message back, which has any or all of the following descriptive words: Giant, wet, moist, tight.
You laugh, She’s going to love this. Guess what? She’s not. I promise.
Would you ever walk up to a girl in a bar and off the cuff mention your dick? If you would, well you’re exactly that.
Take a moment and consider the following: Would I say this to someone in person?
This isn’t in person, you think. This is Tinder.
Well, for starters, delete that text. A good conversation starter is one that sparks meaningful and interesting dialogue. You’re either:
The third point is definitely the hardest, so if humor isn’t your strong suit, choose one of the other two points. Be unique, authentic, and personable. But please, don’t be self-deprecating.
You don’t know this person. You want to stand out. Be funny, not explicit. Be honest, but not over informative. Be curious, but don’t be creepy. Oh yeah, and be yourself.
Easy enough, right? Wait, “I’m confused”, you think, that’s impossible.
Don’t fret, you’ve got this. After all, you are the man.
These are some things you shouldn’t say. Maybe you’ll read these and think there’s no way someone said that. Yes, they did. And this is what a woman thinks when she reads it.
Here is a list of clever conversation starters for Tinder:
Ask her a question, state a fact, or tell her a joke. Then the conversation will flow. You’ve got this!
You type out the perfect conversation starter. You send it. You wait. She responds. YOU’VE DONE IT. How do you start a conversation on Tinder? Ah, remember when that was a question that plagued you with anxiety. You laugh.
Hopefully, these tips and tricks will help you ease the nerves you feel when typing out a message to a complete and total stranger. Be you, don’t take yourself too seriously, and have some fun! There’s someone out there for everyone.