Conversation starters for couples help foster understanding, enhances communication, and increases intimacy. It’s an important part of building and maintaining relationships. Whether you have just met or have been married for years, the importance of discussion never fades.
Here are some suggestions for questions to ask your significant other. This is a fun activity to get to know one another better and to address topics that you haven’t discussed before. This is an exercise to see how well you know one another, what your values are, and ways to build upon your relationship.
Questions for Couples
Awareness of personality quirks and differences is necessary to maintain a healthy and equitable relationship. When you work to understand your partner, you will experience better communication and fulfillment. Here are some fun questions for couples that will get you both talking.
What do you think is your best attribute?
What is your favorite thing about me?
How would you describe yourself in three words?
What is the most important thing in your life?
What do you do when you’re angry?
How can you tell when I am angry?
What do you do when you’re bored?
Would you rather be alone for a week or with friends for a week straight?
If you won the lottery, what would be your first purchase?
Who is your best friend and what is your favorite thing about them?
What is your favorite part of the day?
If money didn’t matter, what would you spend your days doing?
If you were stuck on an island with three people you know, who would you choose to be with and why?
How would you rank money, family, and friends in level of importance?
What are your pet peeves?
What is the funniest television show or movie you’ve seen?
What do you like to do when you’re sad?
What is your biggest weakness?
Do you have any secret talents?
If you had a superpower what would it be and why?
If you found out you had a week left to live, how would you spend that time?
What do you often dream about?
If you could solve one world problem, what would it be?
Would you rather go to Mars or the bottom of the ocean?
How long could you survive without your phone?
If you could relieve a year of your life, what year would you choose?
What is your ideal Saturday night?
If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you were an animal for a day, what animal would you be?
What is your life motto?
Conversation starters for married couples
No matter how long you’ve been with someone, there is always something new to learn. But maybe you’ve run out of questions to ask? Check out these conversation starters for married couples. You may be interested in sharing your own answers with your spouse as well. These are some great questions to renew intimacy, reassess your communication skills, and simply check in on your life partner to see how he or she is doing.
What is your favorite thing about marriage?
What do you think is the most difficult part of marriage?
How do you think we differ from other couples?
If we could disappear and go anywhere for a month, where would you want to go?
What are some of your relationship goals?
What is one of your favorite date memories?
What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?
What’s your favorite gift I’ve given you?
What is a chore you hate doing?
What are the ways we complement one another?
How do you think children have/would change our relationship?
What do I do that makes you feel appreciated?
When did you decide you wanted to marry me?
What is your favorite love story?
Where would you like to retire?
What is a passion of yours that you’ve never pursued?
How do you feel when my opinion contradicts yours?
What do you believe is the best way to deal with an argument?
Do you consider me your best friend?
What is something that has been bothering you lately?
What do you think is your biggest stress reliever?
What holiday tradition is one that you’d want to pass down to our children?
What is the most romantic thing I’ve ever done for you?
What would your life be like right now if we had never met?
What do you think is the most important part of a successful relationship?
Do you believe there’s a difference between love and romance?
When did you fall in love with me?
What do you think is the sexiest thing about me?
Do you think it’s more important to prioritize kids or our relationship?
What is your idea of a romantic getaway?
Intimate Conversation Starters for Couples
There are different types of intimacy, all of which inspire closeness in a relationship. These six types of intimacies are physical, emotional, intellectual, creative, experiential, and spiritual. It is necessary to consider all of these things in regards to your relationship. Are you meeting your partner’s needs? Are you expressing yours?
Intimacy is maintained by mutual respect and understanding. Try these intimate conversation starters to explore these categories of intimacy. By letting your guard down and sharing, you both will feel more comfortable and closer.
How do you express love?
What do you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Have you experienced heartbreak before?
What is your biggest fear?
What is something you’ve thought about asking me but have been too nervous to do so?
Do you like flirting?
What were some ways you feel like you may have failed in past relationships?
Do you believe in life long commitment?
What was your first kiss like?
Do you believe that emotional cheating is the same as physical cheating?
How important do you think sex is within a relationship?
When am I my sexiest?
Do I provide you with the emotional support you need?
When I disagree with you do you ever feel disrespected?
What do you think is something you’re passionate about that you wish I had more interest in?
If you could choose a book for me to read, what would it be?
What do you think your love language is?
What is a hobby of yours that you’d like to teach me?
What is an activity you’ve never done but would be willing to try together?
What are your top three bucket list items of things you want to do before you die?
What do you think happens after we die?
Do you consider yourself a spiritual person?
What are your top three values?
What legacy would you like to leave behind?
When was a time in your life when you were most happy?
Would you consider yourself to be more selfish or self-sacrificing?
How do you respond to confrontation?
What is something that makes you highly uncomfortable?
What is your safe space?
What gives you butterflies?
Conversation Starters for Couples Texting
Texting is a fun way to build upon a relationship and to let your partner know that you’re thinking about them. However, do your best to avoid heavy topics via text. Relationship experts agree that the best time to discuss serious topics is in person so as to avoid any miscommunication that comes from not speaking to someone face to face. Here are some fun texting questions that will provide enjoyment for whoever is on the receiving end of the message.
Are you working on anything interesting today?
Do you have a podcast you’d recommend?
How would you describe your day using an emoji?
If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
What are you currently binging?
Have you learned anything new today?
If you could have anything for dinner, what would it be?
What is your ideal weekend?
If you could get away with wearing sweatpants to work, would you?
Who is your celebrity crush?
If you were a professional athlete, what sport would you play?
What is the current view outside your window?
What is a book you haven’t read but want to?
What is your favorite month of the year?
Would you rather show up underdressed or overdressed to a party?
What is your dream concert?
What is your top played song?
What’s the weirdest text you’ve ever received?
What is your favorite meme?
What is the most embarrassing text that you didn’t mean to send?
What is the best photo you have on your phone?
What is your current wallpaper?
What is an app on your phone that you couldn’t live without?
Do you prefer texting or phone calls?
Are you an early bird or a night owl?
What are your plans after work?
What do you never leave the house without?
What is a bad habit you’ve struggled to give up?
Who is your favorite coworker and why?
What is your dream job?
What are good conversation starters with your boyfriend?
Sometimes guys can be a little closed off. Communication makes everything about a relationship easier. You understand one another better, you avoid miscommunication, and you are able to dictate your wants and needs. These are some great questions to understand your boyfriend and who he is as a person.
What makes you the happiest?
What’s your favorite food?
What is something that makes you lose your patience?
What’s the worst thing about being a guy?
What movie have you seen the most?
What TV show do you wish you could see again for the first time?
What is the most random piece of trivia you know?
What’s the grossest thing you’ve eaten?
What was your most toxic relationship (friendship, significant other, boss, etc.)?
What was the last movie you watched that made you cry?
What makes you different from others?
What was a mistake you made that turned out better than planned?
What would your DJ name be?
If you were the president of a secret society, what would it be?
Who is your favorite fictional villain and why?
Who is your favorite hero and why?
If Jurassic Park were real, would you visit?
Would you rather be a merman or an alien?
If you were to nominate one of your friends for The Bachelor, who would be and how would you pitch them?
If you could choose any brand to sponsor you, what would it be?
What is your go-to karaoke song?
What song most reminds you of middle school?
Who was your first crush?
What is the weirdest thing you’d do for money?
If you could live as a girl for a day, would you?
What is your greatest life achievement?
What is your favorite story to tell a new friend?
What was the worst dinner experience you’ve ever had?
Do you think you were a cool kid?
What will you always make time for?
How do I start a deep conversation with my boyfriend?
In order to have a deep conversation with your boyfriend, you have to be willing to be vulnerable yourself. Your authenticity will encourage him to be himself. If you want to have a deep conversation, consider what you want to know about someone and what you are willing to share as well. Sometimes there are questions that people aren’t willing to answer yet. They need to feel a certain level of closeness with someone before revealing certain information. Be mindful and respectful of that. Everything comes with time.
As well, be an apt listener and appreciative of your boyfriend’s answers. Consider questions you’d like to ask him and try answering them first as an encouragement to get him talking. Here are a few examples of questions you can ask both yourself and him.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
What is your biggest dream?
What is the dream you feel like you’ve abandoned?
What was your favorite subject in school?
What is one of your most favorite memories of a night out with friends?
Do you feel like you are more like your mother or father and why?
What is something that I don’t know about you?
What is a funny memory that still makes you laugh when you think about it?
When was a time that you were most afraid?
What simple thing in life makes you happy?
How do you start a conversation in a relationship?
In order to start a conversation in a relationship, it is important to be a clear communicator. If there is a topic you specifically want to address, consider what you want and what the end goal is. Is there behavior of your partner you wish to change? Are you seeking to understand something that has you confused? Are you trying to express your feelings?
When you can clearly define your purpose, it makes the task of starting a conversation a little more manageable. Now you can think of specific questions and topic points to address the goal of the conversation. Be sure to express how you feel and encourage your partner to do the same. You then need to be patient and understand that your partner may need some time to process what you have just told or asked them. You may have been thinking about this for a while, but they are just now hearing it, so give them space to think and respond.
Remember a relationship takes two people. This means compromise. You aren’t always going to get what you want, but maintaining trust, respect, and compassion for one another is most important. This will ensure that you are able to have an open dialogue in the future. When discussing serious conversations, be mindful of the atmosphere you are in. Consider having intimate conversations in places that your partner feels safe to answer. Be mindful of your tone and that you are not taking over the entire conversation. Give them room to respond and listen when they do.
What can couples talk about?
Couples can hopefully talk about everything! There’s a point in a relationship where trust and respect should ensure that a couple can have tough conversations and navigate them successfully. The happiest couples share their lives with one another remembering memories and learning experiences.
They discuss their values and preferences, which might include conversations about spirituality and religion, along with household issues. Couples who discuss politics, money, and sex better understand one another and are happier because of it. Most importantly, sharing your dreams along with your frustrations encourages you and your partner to be the best and most mindful of partners to one another. Be sure to check in with one another, make plans, and express your gratitude.
There are plenty of different stages of a relationship. Hopefully reading through this, you might have been inspired to ask your partner some questions regardless of what stage the two of you are at. Remember that relationships are about work and compromise. Part of that work comes with understanding and questions are necessary in order to achieve that. If your partner is bad at communication, take the initiative to ask more questions. When you make an avid attempt to foster communication, you encourage your partner to do the same and your relationship will grow. So make sure you not only ask questions but that you listen.